On April 25 Petya Dubarova would have turned 33. It is unbelievable to me, she is almost my age, and yet last December the sixteenth year without her started to roll towards the eternity.. I feel sadness.. and anger - anger towards everybody that, directly or not, contributed to the ugly spell hanging over Bulgaria - to have so many of its most talented poets and writers die young, as a bitter sacrifice, atonement, or doom. And my only consolation is this little blue book, containing her so brilliant, strong and amazingly beautiful words. Through tears I read, and feel the thrill of the warm wave of coziness that starts to embrace me.. and I know Petya is with us, even now, in our hearts.. forever!
I would like to start presenting Petya"s poetry as the first of a sequence of poets and writers, the Sprouts of our contemporary literature, as opposed to the weeds like Levchev and others. In this post I would like to offer just one verse from one of her poems that I think is the essence, the rationale of her poetic work - four lines so effulgent, and perfect in their completeness and brevity:
Petya Dubarova. "Az i Moreto", 1980. Stihove. Izd. "G. Bakalov", Varna.
Един възторжен кораб рязко вряза
брадата си в спокойното море
и своя път със диря отбеляза.
Морето не поиска да го спре,
а само сбръчи се от болка сива,
изохка тихо, като че дайре
търкулна...
Текат минути, часове и дни
в безспирен бяг безследно отлетели.
Как страшно в тези четири стени
ти блъскаш своите мисли посивели.
И чакаш някого. Но идва ден,
когато по пътеки осветени,
О, в къщи ще се върна чак на утрото
безкрайно уморена, но усмихната,
получила най-ценния подарък.
Аз своето присъствие на рибите,
делфините и мидите, и птиците
раздавам за една-едничка вечер,...
On chilly night, when drunk on rum,
sleep wallows in my attic room,
the moon grows darker from its sins,
when, strangled upon night"s sharp rim,
right there - above me - fear hangs,
it"s then I offer my pale hand
to you - you strange and furtive man
so tame, wild and swarthy, very handsome,
and only nineteen years this fall,
On Saturdays I"m unappreciated -
wild, flexible, and lively as a lynx.
And tiredness, having turned into a whim,
vacates me like a wound - healed up and faded.
School totally collapses in my mind
and I am far from registers an blackboards.
A hundred thousand rivers run towards me,
tints, hues, and rainbows fill my eyes,
...
И облак сивкав като миша дупка
пак погледа ми приютява тихо,
от мойта длан - разчупена черупка -
изтича въздух снежнобял и стихов.
Във чашите на моите зеници
се плисва нещо чуждо, непознато...